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Well, I didn't think I could do it, but I finished up part 3--like my plan said I would. Go me.
Part 4 is scheduled to start...sometime...probably tomorrow if Idon't decide to spend the day at the movies. Oh wait, I have to finish Universe first. Maybe I can get on that tonight. Wouldn't that be cool? Anywho...enjoy...
“He just makes me so angry sometimes. God.” Buffy raged. “I mean, he’s all suspicious…how am I supposed to talk to him when he starts making accusations?”
“I don’t know Buffy.”
“And why did he change his mind all of a sudden? Why did he even agree to it if he didn’t want to? Just play with my emotions? And good God, he asked me if I would cheat on him. How could even say that to me? How could even believe I’d cheat on him?”
“Maybe he’s projecting.”
“Projecting?”
Tara shrugged. “Sometimes people accuse their spouses of what they’re guilty of doing…”
“What? Are you implying Spike would cheat on me?”
“No, no of course not.”
“Yes you are.” Buffy frowned. “Why would you say something like that?”
“I didn’t mean…”
“Spike may be a lot of things, but unfaithful? Dishonest? He’s never lied…Oh god.” Her eyes widened. “Oh my god.”
“What?”
“He was right. This whole time…he was right about you.”
“Buffy…”
“What did you say to him today?”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Yes you did. Now tell me.”
“I said that…he didn’t deserve you. He used you…”
“He didn’t use me, Tara.”
“Did you read the book?”
“Holy fuck, Tara, I lived the fucking book. What is wrong with you? What did you say to him?”
“Nothing he didn’t deserve to hear. Nothing that wasn’t true.”
“Give me an example.”
“I told him that he treated you like a child, that you were scared of him…”
Buffy narrowed her eyes. “You hurt him.”
“No, I didn’t…”
“You hurt him. I can’t believe you would intentionally say something to hurt him. What has he ever done to you?”
“Nothing, it’s what he’s done to you.”
“Love me? He deserves it because he loves me?”
“I don’t think he loves you.”
“You’re wrong. And was he right about you? Do you love me?”
Tara nodded.
Buffy took a deep breath. “I could have been happy to stay your friend. I could have been happy to be your best friend…You were one of the most important people in my life.”
“Were?”
“You need to understand something though…Spike is a thousand, million times more important to me than you will ever be. God, I can’t believe this. I can’t believe I actually had a fight with him over this. I’m going home.”
“Buffy, wait. I didn’t mean to…”
“I don’t know what you meant…I trusted you Tara. I trusted you with everything. I confided in you. And what do I get in return? How did you pay back my trust? Don’t you understand, Tara, don’t you see? He’s my world.”
“Is he worthy of that, Buffy? Worthy to be your world?”
“He’s flawed…he’s not perfect. He’s got issues that I probably can’t even begin to understand. But he loves me more than…He’ll always love me. If that doesn’t make him worthy, I don’t know what does.”
“I understand.”
“Do you? Because I don’t want to lose you too, Tara, but there’s no contest. None.”
“I do.”
“I can’t talk to you anymore…not until I make things right with Spike.”
“You should go to him then. Buffy…I’m sorry.”
“Me too.”
Buffy ran all the way home, eager to apologize, to tell him she figured it out, to make things better. She burst into the house shouting his name. “Spike!”
No answer.
“Spike? Where are you?”
He wasn’t in the kitchen, or the bedroom. Her heart in her throat, she checked his office. It was also empty. Suddenly afraid, she crossed the room to his desk. On it was a single piece of paper—and only that. His laptop and notebook were gone.
and would you leave me for a butterfly?
pretty colors and a downy dew
and would you have me stand aside?
slice my hand and bleed the ground red
for your wine and roses?
i am not a saint, mind you.
i am just a man.
would you have me cry in front of strangers?
You made your decision Buffy…I’ll be back later for my stuff. You can stay here as long as you want…Don’t want to put you out on the streets. I love you, but I really don’t think I can trust you anymore.
Numbly, Buffy collapsed into the chair—his chair. For the second time, he had left her. At least this time he had left her a note. She closed her eyes. No, this was not happening again. This would not happen again. Not a second time. She had just found him, goddamnit, she wasn’t going to let him go.
The End
Part 4 is scheduled to start...sometime...probably tomorrow if Idon't decide to spend the day at the movies. Oh wait, I have to finish Universe first. Maybe I can get on that tonight. Wouldn't that be cool? Anywho...enjoy...
“He just makes me so angry sometimes. God.” Buffy raged. “I mean, he’s all suspicious…how am I supposed to talk to him when he starts making accusations?”
“I don’t know Buffy.”
“And why did he change his mind all of a sudden? Why did he even agree to it if he didn’t want to? Just play with my emotions? And good God, he asked me if I would cheat on him. How could even say that to me? How could even believe I’d cheat on him?”
“Maybe he’s projecting.”
“Projecting?”
Tara shrugged. “Sometimes people accuse their spouses of what they’re guilty of doing…”
“What? Are you implying Spike would cheat on me?”
“No, no of course not.”
“Yes you are.” Buffy frowned. “Why would you say something like that?”
“I didn’t mean…”
“Spike may be a lot of things, but unfaithful? Dishonest? He’s never lied…Oh god.” Her eyes widened. “Oh my god.”
“What?”
“He was right. This whole time…he was right about you.”
“Buffy…”
“What did you say to him today?”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Yes you did. Now tell me.”
“I said that…he didn’t deserve you. He used you…”
“He didn’t use me, Tara.”
“Did you read the book?”
“Holy fuck, Tara, I lived the fucking book. What is wrong with you? What did you say to him?”
“Nothing he didn’t deserve to hear. Nothing that wasn’t true.”
“Give me an example.”
“I told him that he treated you like a child, that you were scared of him…”
Buffy narrowed her eyes. “You hurt him.”
“No, I didn’t…”
“You hurt him. I can’t believe you would intentionally say something to hurt him. What has he ever done to you?”
“Nothing, it’s what he’s done to you.”
“Love me? He deserves it because he loves me?”
“I don’t think he loves you.”
“You’re wrong. And was he right about you? Do you love me?”
Tara nodded.
Buffy took a deep breath. “I could have been happy to stay your friend. I could have been happy to be your best friend…You were one of the most important people in my life.”
“Were?”
“You need to understand something though…Spike is a thousand, million times more important to me than you will ever be. God, I can’t believe this. I can’t believe I actually had a fight with him over this. I’m going home.”
“Buffy, wait. I didn’t mean to…”
“I don’t know what you meant…I trusted you Tara. I trusted you with everything. I confided in you. And what do I get in return? How did you pay back my trust? Don’t you understand, Tara, don’t you see? He’s my world.”
“Is he worthy of that, Buffy? Worthy to be your world?”
“He’s flawed…he’s not perfect. He’s got issues that I probably can’t even begin to understand. But he loves me more than…He’ll always love me. If that doesn’t make him worthy, I don’t know what does.”
“I understand.”
“Do you? Because I don’t want to lose you too, Tara, but there’s no contest. None.”
“I do.”
“I can’t talk to you anymore…not until I make things right with Spike.”
“You should go to him then. Buffy…I’m sorry.”
“Me too.”
Buffy ran all the way home, eager to apologize, to tell him she figured it out, to make things better. She burst into the house shouting his name. “Spike!”
No answer.
“Spike? Where are you?”
He wasn’t in the kitchen, or the bedroom. Her heart in her throat, she checked his office. It was also empty. Suddenly afraid, she crossed the room to his desk. On it was a single piece of paper—and only that. His laptop and notebook were gone.
and would you leave me for a butterfly?
pretty colors and a downy dew
and would you have me stand aside?
slice my hand and bleed the ground red
for your wine and roses?
i am not a saint, mind you.
i am just a man.
would you have me cry in front of strangers?
You made your decision Buffy…I’ll be back later for my stuff. You can stay here as long as you want…Don’t want to put you out on the streets. I love you, but I really don’t think I can trust you anymore.
Numbly, Buffy collapsed into the chair—his chair. For the second time, he had left her. At least this time he had left her a note. She closed her eyes. No, this was not happening again. This would not happen again. Not a second time. She had just found him, goddamnit, she wasn’t going to let him go.
The End
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From:
WOW
But after reading this bit I feel like im gonna cry lol When I read the poem and knew that Spike was gone I was like "Nooooo not again. Pls not again"
And now im off to read part 4 :o)
Tasha
x X x