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God, these two did not want to cooperate, and then my computer crashed. Stupid computer.
I'm surprised I got this chapter done at all.
It was early in the morning when Buffy let herself into the house. She didn’t know if Spike went to bed or not, but she suspected that he didn’t. She figured she could sneak into the bedroom and sneak out before he even knew she was there. She didn’t think she could face him; if he hadn’t read the notebook, she wouldn’t know how to explain herself and if he had read the notebook…Either way, it was better to just get what she needed and get out.
She actually made it to the bedroom and out again in one piece. She was almost to the door when she heard, very softly, “Buffy.”
She spun around to face him. It was clear that he had been up all night. His eyes were red, his hair messy, his face drawn. He didn’t look angry. Buffy bit her bottom lip and waited for him to speak, unsure of exactly what she could say.
“I just stopped by to get something…I’m not staying.” Please don’t make me go, please Spike.
He held up the notebook. “I read it.”
“Oh.”
Spike moved towards her, but stopped before he actually reached her. They were separated by mere inches, and Buffy didn’t know if he would let her close the gap. But he was so close and maybe if she…
“I’m so sorry Spike,” she said as threw her arms around him, burying her face against his chest. “Please…I’m so sorry.”
“Buffy…Buffy…”
“I know I shouldn’t have done that. I was wrong. I mean, I can understand if you want me to go again, but I don’t want to.”
Spike lifted her head gently. “Buffy, I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have said that to you.” He rested his forehead against her. “I’m so sorry, love.”
“Why are you sorry? I’m the one who…”
“Why did you come back, Buffy?”
“What?”
“Why did you come back to me? Look at you…beautiful. Perfect. I’m an ogre to you, Buffy.”
She shook her head. “No. No you’re not, Spike. I never wanted to go. I never wanted to hurt you either.”
“Oh, pet…” He gently brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Forgive me.”
“For what?”
“For not telling you a million times a day how wonderful you are, how brilliant you are. For letting you leave last night. For not giving you a chance to explain. For keeping things from you. For…” His voice caught and it took him a few seconds before he could speak again. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Buffy, nothing. I meant to tell you before…”
“Tell me what, Spike?”
“When I told you about my mum…You didn’t disappoint me, Buffy. You were everything I needed you to be. You don’t need to worry about what you give me, Buffy…you give me more than enough.”
“It’s just so hard…I don’t know what to do sometimes…”
“I know. Believe me, I know.”
“I didn’t think you would forgive me…”
“Pet, you’re so brave…how could I not forgive you? You put more trust in me than…God Buffy, I am so sorry. Stay with me…Let me show you how much I love you…” He kissed her, still searching for her forgiveness. Buffy was still slightly confused over why he was apologizing to her.
“Spike, wait. I still don’t understand why you aren’t mad at me.”
He shook his head. “Buffy, I didn’t share them with you because I’m self-conscious. I didn’t want to give you the chance to mock me…I didn’t want to be vulnerable…to you or anybody. But you…you did something I never could. Something I would never dream of doing. It made me realize that you are a much better person than I am…”
“No I’m not Spike.”
“Yes you are.”
“No.”
“Stop arguing with me.”
“You’re wrong. I’m not. I’m a bad, snooping person.”
“I forgave you for that hours ago. Now, where was I? Oh right.” He kissed her again, and this time she didn’t break away to ask more questions. Without breaking the kiss, he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom, his mind already racing with everything he needed to do, wanted to show her.
When he put her on the bed, she didn’t let go of him, instead pulling him down on top of her. He kept trying to put enough space between them so that he could at least get her shirt off, but she wouldn’t let him go. He finally gave up, and allowed her to wrap her arms and legs around him, holding him as tightly as possible. They rolled on the bed, locked together.
“Need…to get you naked,” he gasped. “Right now.”
The problem was, neither one of them wanted to let go. Spike broke free first, but only long enough to rip her t-shirt off before Buffy kissed him again. She ran her hands up and down his back, feeling the warmth of his body through the thin material of the shirt, before growling with frustration and pulling it over his head. As soon as their skin made contact, she whimpered.
“Closer,” she moaned.
“Trying, pet.”
Fortunately, he didn’t have to fumble with buttons or zippers—both of them were wearing easily removed sweats. He pawed at her until she was naked, and kicked his legs until his own pants were gone. While he worked at that, she covered his neck and chest with kisses, letting her mouth wander wherever she could reach.
He rolled them until he was on top of her, her legs still firmly wrapped around him, her hands grasping his arms. He thrust into her, both of them relieved at the contact.
“Don’t move,” she whispered. “Just hold me.”
He remained motionless, locked inside of her, never breaking from her gaze. She reached up and delicately caressed the side of his face. “Spike, I would never…I would never use your words against you.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
“Now.”
“There’s not a part of you I don’t love, Spike.” She kissed him softly, her lips barely brushing against his. “I want to know all of you. Let me see you.”
“I try, Buffy. But it’s so hard.” He looked down, blocking his eyes from hers.
“Why?”
“Never had anybody to share with before. I don’t know how.” He buried his face between her neck and shoulder. “Teach me?”
“I will.”
Spike began to move into her, slowly. She felt his body shake slightly and telling dampness against her neck, but she didn’t say anything. She stroked the back of his head, caressed his neck, rubbed his back. She made small sounds of encouragement, moans and whimpers. Soon those turned into whispered words of love and sweet promises.
Feeling Spike inside of her was always amazing, spectacular, earth-shattering even. But sometimes…sometimes it was a revelation. His slow deliberate movements made her feel light headed, but his labored breath, cool against her wet skin kept her grounded. His body shook with the force of his silent tears, and she couldn’t do anything but hold him tightly to her, still whispering assurance that she loved him. Once, the blatant show of his emotions—so close to the surface—would have frightened her. But she asked for this, and she felt like she was ready for it.
She needed to see all of him, and each gentle thrust and slight sob reverberated through both of them. Echoes and vibrations of his pent up emotions rolled through her body, shaking her to her very core. Pleasure was far from her mind—she just needed to him to be close to her as possible.
Buffy didn’t realize it, but her eyes were wet with tears too. Spike felt one, and then another, roll off her face and land on his neck. That made him look at her, and they exchanged weak, watery smiles. He caught each one of her tears with his lips, kissing them away even as his continue their slow, silent fall.
“Love you Spike, I do.”
“I love you.”
Spike lifted his head again and looked at her, unabashedly. She held his eyes, steadily, and under her gaze they began to dry. His eyes were like storms, passionate and tumultuous. They mesmerized her. A part of her expected poetry to pour out of him, like rain from a cloud, but he remained silent. She didn’t speak either. They didn’t need to. Their bodies were communicating, connecting, and be was so deep inside of her that it felt like he was a part of her.
Buffy clasped his hand, their fingers curling together and kissed him. She felt it building inside of him, felt him tense, knew that he was ready but would try to hold out of her. She didn’t want him to. “Come on Spike,” she said against his lips. “I want you to come inside of me, right now.”
“Buffy,” he gasped, his voice still thick from the tears. “Oh god…”
She moaned and arched her back, encouraging Spike to pour himself into her. Buffy clenched her muscles around him, holding him inside of her tightly until he was completely spent.
“Sorry,” he whispered.
“Shhh.” She kissed his cheek, chin, and jaw. “Don’t be.”
“Let me and take care of you now.”
“Just hold me now, Spike. Just want you to hold me.”
“I’ll never let you go.”
I'm surprised I got this chapter done at all.
It was early in the morning when Buffy let herself into the house. She didn’t know if Spike went to bed or not, but she suspected that he didn’t. She figured she could sneak into the bedroom and sneak out before he even knew she was there. She didn’t think she could face him; if he hadn’t read the notebook, she wouldn’t know how to explain herself and if he had read the notebook…Either way, it was better to just get what she needed and get out.
She actually made it to the bedroom and out again in one piece. She was almost to the door when she heard, very softly, “Buffy.”
She spun around to face him. It was clear that he had been up all night. His eyes were red, his hair messy, his face drawn. He didn’t look angry. Buffy bit her bottom lip and waited for him to speak, unsure of exactly what she could say.
“I just stopped by to get something…I’m not staying.” Please don’t make me go, please Spike.
He held up the notebook. “I read it.”
“Oh.”
Spike moved towards her, but stopped before he actually reached her. They were separated by mere inches, and Buffy didn’t know if he would let her close the gap. But he was so close and maybe if she…
“I’m so sorry Spike,” she said as threw her arms around him, burying her face against his chest. “Please…I’m so sorry.”
“Buffy…Buffy…”
“I know I shouldn’t have done that. I was wrong. I mean, I can understand if you want me to go again, but I don’t want to.”
Spike lifted her head gently. “Buffy, I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have said that to you.” He rested his forehead against her. “I’m so sorry, love.”
“Why are you sorry? I’m the one who…”
“Why did you come back, Buffy?”
“What?”
“Why did you come back to me? Look at you…beautiful. Perfect. I’m an ogre to you, Buffy.”
She shook her head. “No. No you’re not, Spike. I never wanted to go. I never wanted to hurt you either.”
“Oh, pet…” He gently brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Forgive me.”
“For what?”
“For not telling you a million times a day how wonderful you are, how brilliant you are. For letting you leave last night. For not giving you a chance to explain. For keeping things from you. For…” His voice caught and it took him a few seconds before he could speak again. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Buffy, nothing. I meant to tell you before…”
“Tell me what, Spike?”
“When I told you about my mum…You didn’t disappoint me, Buffy. You were everything I needed you to be. You don’t need to worry about what you give me, Buffy…you give me more than enough.”
“It’s just so hard…I don’t know what to do sometimes…”
“I know. Believe me, I know.”
“I didn’t think you would forgive me…”
“Pet, you’re so brave…how could I not forgive you? You put more trust in me than…God Buffy, I am so sorry. Stay with me…Let me show you how much I love you…” He kissed her, still searching for her forgiveness. Buffy was still slightly confused over why he was apologizing to her.
“Spike, wait. I still don’t understand why you aren’t mad at me.”
He shook his head. “Buffy, I didn’t share them with you because I’m self-conscious. I didn’t want to give you the chance to mock me…I didn’t want to be vulnerable…to you or anybody. But you…you did something I never could. Something I would never dream of doing. It made me realize that you are a much better person than I am…”
“No I’m not Spike.”
“Yes you are.”
“No.”
“Stop arguing with me.”
“You’re wrong. I’m not. I’m a bad, snooping person.”
“I forgave you for that hours ago. Now, where was I? Oh right.” He kissed her again, and this time she didn’t break away to ask more questions. Without breaking the kiss, he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom, his mind already racing with everything he needed to do, wanted to show her.
When he put her on the bed, she didn’t let go of him, instead pulling him down on top of her. He kept trying to put enough space between them so that he could at least get her shirt off, but she wouldn’t let him go. He finally gave up, and allowed her to wrap her arms and legs around him, holding him as tightly as possible. They rolled on the bed, locked together.
“Need…to get you naked,” he gasped. “Right now.”
The problem was, neither one of them wanted to let go. Spike broke free first, but only long enough to rip her t-shirt off before Buffy kissed him again. She ran her hands up and down his back, feeling the warmth of his body through the thin material of the shirt, before growling with frustration and pulling it over his head. As soon as their skin made contact, she whimpered.
“Closer,” she moaned.
“Trying, pet.”
Fortunately, he didn’t have to fumble with buttons or zippers—both of them were wearing easily removed sweats. He pawed at her until she was naked, and kicked his legs until his own pants were gone. While he worked at that, she covered his neck and chest with kisses, letting her mouth wander wherever she could reach.
He rolled them until he was on top of her, her legs still firmly wrapped around him, her hands grasping his arms. He thrust into her, both of them relieved at the contact.
“Don’t move,” she whispered. “Just hold me.”
He remained motionless, locked inside of her, never breaking from her gaze. She reached up and delicately caressed the side of his face. “Spike, I would never…I would never use your words against you.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
“Now.”
“There’s not a part of you I don’t love, Spike.” She kissed him softly, her lips barely brushing against his. “I want to know all of you. Let me see you.”
“I try, Buffy. But it’s so hard.” He looked down, blocking his eyes from hers.
“Why?”
“Never had anybody to share with before. I don’t know how.” He buried his face between her neck and shoulder. “Teach me?”
“I will.”
Spike began to move into her, slowly. She felt his body shake slightly and telling dampness against her neck, but she didn’t say anything. She stroked the back of his head, caressed his neck, rubbed his back. She made small sounds of encouragement, moans and whimpers. Soon those turned into whispered words of love and sweet promises.
Feeling Spike inside of her was always amazing, spectacular, earth-shattering even. But sometimes…sometimes it was a revelation. His slow deliberate movements made her feel light headed, but his labored breath, cool against her wet skin kept her grounded. His body shook with the force of his silent tears, and she couldn’t do anything but hold him tightly to her, still whispering assurance that she loved him. Once, the blatant show of his emotions—so close to the surface—would have frightened her. But she asked for this, and she felt like she was ready for it.
She needed to see all of him, and each gentle thrust and slight sob reverberated through both of them. Echoes and vibrations of his pent up emotions rolled through her body, shaking her to her very core. Pleasure was far from her mind—she just needed to him to be close to her as possible.
Buffy didn’t realize it, but her eyes were wet with tears too. Spike felt one, and then another, roll off her face and land on his neck. That made him look at her, and they exchanged weak, watery smiles. He caught each one of her tears with his lips, kissing them away even as his continue their slow, silent fall.
“Love you Spike, I do.”
“I love you.”
Spike lifted his head again and looked at her, unabashedly. She held his eyes, steadily, and under her gaze they began to dry. His eyes were like storms, passionate and tumultuous. They mesmerized her. A part of her expected poetry to pour out of him, like rain from a cloud, but he remained silent. She didn’t speak either. They didn’t need to. Their bodies were communicating, connecting, and be was so deep inside of her that it felt like he was a part of her.
Buffy clasped his hand, their fingers curling together and kissed him. She felt it building inside of him, felt him tense, knew that he was ready but would try to hold out of her. She didn’t want him to. “Come on Spike,” she said against his lips. “I want you to come inside of me, right now.”
“Buffy,” he gasped, his voice still thick from the tears. “Oh god…”
She moaned and arched her back, encouraging Spike to pour himself into her. Buffy clenched her muscles around him, holding him inside of her tightly until he was completely spent.
“Sorry,” he whispered.
“Shhh.” She kissed his cheek, chin, and jaw. “Don’t be.”
“Let me and take care of you now.”
“Just hold me now, Spike. Just want you to hold me.”
“I’ll never let you go.”
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From: (Anonymous)
Thank You
Shippy
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calliope
calliopeo@hotmail.com
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Codes
From:
Re: Codes
And it's only 12:45...still early yet.
From: (Anonymous)
Re: Codes
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Re: Codes
~yani
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Re: Codes
calliope
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much needed
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no subject
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To feel is not to write unless one is a poet and I have no talent there!
The things you write make me feel and call to the distant poet in my soul:
"celebrate the glory of the feeling that you get from reading this"
Thank you for sharing your writings, pepper!
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~yani
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you're a very talented author with a real twist for naughtiness! please, please keep it up.
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Damn, that was good.
[sigh]
Why can't Spike be real? Or readily available to every woman in the world????
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*sigh*
Fantastic as usual Pepper.
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awwwe
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::hugs Mr. William for being so vulnerable and human::
::hugs Pepper for writing such a beautiful scene that made me want to hug Mr. William::
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