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Spike/Xander slashfic. It was mildly entertaining when, in the middle of the night, I'd feel the urge to read something a bit different, a bit naughty, and I'd search the Internet for the smut that struck the delicate balance of believablity and hot sex. I even found a few great Spander fics that I enjoyed.
And then, something happened. Something sinister. Something confusing. Something really, really annoying. Spander has morphed into something...well...annoying. Everybody is writing it. Everybody is gushing about it. Everybody is reading it. All of a sudden, my favorite fiction archives are full of Spike/Xander, not a single Spuffy story to be found.
Guess what folks? Spander is stupid. Here's why:
1) Xander is not gay. Sorry, after making out with Cordy, fucking Faith and Anya, lusting after Buffy and Willow, and masturbating to the thought of Willow/Tara, I simply can't buy that all of a sudden he's sucking Spike's long, hard, ivory cock. Or taking it up the ass like a pro.
2) Xander hates Spike. And not in the sexy way. I mean it, he really hates SPike in the "I hate that bastard I want to kill him way." NOt in the "I hate that bastard, I want to fuck him til he bleeds" way. There's a difference, and Xander is firmly in the first camp.
3) Xander is flappy, fat, and lazy. Ok, maybe just flappy and fat. Unless we're talking S2-3 Xander, I don't want to picture him naked with anybody. Much less Spike.
4) Spike. Loves. Buffy.
But all of that is besides the point. The point is, Spander fic is not for everybody and I really, really wish it wasn't all over the goddamned place. It's gotten to a point that if I want to read certain writers, I have to read their latest offering of Spander and it's stupid and annoying.
And then, something happened. Something sinister. Something confusing. Something really, really annoying. Spander has morphed into something...well...annoying. Everybody is writing it. Everybody is gushing about it. Everybody is reading it. All of a sudden, my favorite fiction archives are full of Spike/Xander, not a single Spuffy story to be found.
Guess what folks? Spander is stupid. Here's why:
1) Xander is not gay. Sorry, after making out with Cordy, fucking Faith and Anya, lusting after Buffy and Willow, and masturbating to the thought of Willow/Tara, I simply can't buy that all of a sudden he's sucking Spike's long, hard, ivory cock. Or taking it up the ass like a pro.
2) Xander hates Spike. And not in the sexy way. I mean it, he really hates SPike in the "I hate that bastard I want to kill him way." NOt in the "I hate that bastard, I want to fuck him til he bleeds" way. There's a difference, and Xander is firmly in the first camp.
3) Xander is flappy, fat, and lazy. Ok, maybe just flappy and fat. Unless we're talking S2-3 Xander, I don't want to picture him naked with anybody. Much less Spike.
4) Spike. Loves. Buffy.
But all of that is besides the point. The point is, Spander fic is not for everybody and I really, really wish it wasn't all over the goddamned place. It's gotten to a point that if I want to read certain writers, I have to read their latest offering of Spander and it's stupid and annoying.
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From:
no subject
So, so tired of spander...a little goes a long way. I haven't read a really good spuffy fic in weeks - (Journeys update and your fics aside). Hopefully, Touched will inspire some writers to return to spuffy fic.
From:
amen!
*sigh*