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I want to write my cowboy novel right now. I want to be working on NaNoWriMo. I want to be productive and creative. I've been listening to a lot of Willie Nelson and Hank Williams and it just makes the desire worse. I have the type of idea that needs to be written to be explored. But before I can do that, I have another 10 page essay to write. *sigh*
Sometimes, I let myself think about what will probably happen to me when I'm done with school. It's what happens to everybody. Time to get a job, be a productive citizen, five days a week, eight hours a day. I know realistically I have a better shot of sprouting wings and flying to Hawaii where I'd live as a winged Goddess than I do of making a living as a writer. And I know I want to be a writing teacher, but I look at Prof Flakey and think "That's my life." Working with endless kids who don't give a fuck and publishing chap books. Which is something. I don't have anything in print. I don't have any plans. I barely have goals. I keep thinking if I get through school things will fall in place. I'm going to finally have my degree in May and pretty much nothing is in place--everything is still up in the air.
And it scares me that this is what I have to look forward to. There are some amazing people out there who can write around kids and work and a social life. I really don't think I can pull that off. Witness the way I fall apart when I just have school and a part time job to deal with.
Sometimes, I let myself think about what will probably happen to me when I'm done with school. It's what happens to everybody. Time to get a job, be a productive citizen, five days a week, eight hours a day. I know realistically I have a better shot of sprouting wings and flying to Hawaii where I'd live as a winged Goddess than I do of making a living as a writer. And I know I want to be a writing teacher, but I look at Prof Flakey and think "That's my life." Working with endless kids who don't give a fuck and publishing chap books. Which is something. I don't have anything in print. I don't have any plans. I barely have goals. I keep thinking if I get through school things will fall in place. I'm going to finally have my degree in May and pretty much nothing is in place--everything is still up in the air.
And it scares me that this is what I have to look forward to. There are some amazing people out there who can write around kids and work and a social life. I really don't think I can pull that off. Witness the way I fall apart when I just have school and a part time job to deal with.