My muse hates me.

Not because it won't let me write. Oh no no no. That type of villiany is for mere ametuers. My muse has been tormenting me for years now--it has turned this torture into a fine art. It knows how to push all my buttons. What's worse than having writer's block?
Having os many projects you can never hope to finish--much less get started--on all of them.

1) New Frontier. I can turn this into another epic if I want, but I might be forced to just finish it good and proper before I want to.

2) Mad Brilliant. The wheels are turning again. I've been trying to write chapter 12 for 2 days now. It's not a lack of ideas, it's a lack of time.

3) Mad World. Still need to clean this fucker up. We're going to start working on it in Creative Writingin a few weeks. I'm excited about that though.

4) A project called 20 Stories, 19 Days. 20 drabbles, all post-chosen, about the 19 days after Spike died, from various POVS. "The Mourner" would be part of the set.

5) I signed up for a Halloween fic Challenge dealie-who. I can't think of anything that would scare us mere mortals, so i thought I would think of something that would freak SPike the fuck out. That was hard too. I finally settled on a BtVS/Carnivale cross-over. redqueen6238 helped me plot it out. It just needs to be written in time for Halloween.

6) An original fic that I really want to work on. But again, lack o'time.

See, all of this is in my brain but I can't do anything about it. I have 5 essays to write very soon, and that does not count my regular homework for each class. I'm struggling vainly to stay ahead, but so far, it's only by a sliver.

Listless

That's the only word I can think to describe it. Lethargic maybe. I have no incentive to do anything. This goes beyond just tired. I'm filled with dread when I think about the fact that I have to work tomorrow. I can't get up the energy to write. I don't want to read any of my books (which I NEED to read)I barely want to write this post. Christ, I don't know what to do.