Mr&Mrs.William "...The Storm"

[pepperlandgirl]

Tara’s accusations were mere echoes of his own thoughts, reflections of his own private hell, a mirror of his twisted insecurities. She hadn’t said anything he still didn’t agonize over on occasion. Well, that wasn’t true. She had given him a few new things to obsess over.

For example, when did Buffy get a job offer in California? Why was she even applying for jobs in California when he had pretty much settled in Florida? She had never expressed any real desire to go back—what the hell was that all about? What else was she keeping from him. And why was she keeping anything from him? It was so important to her that they share that she had gone through his stuff!

He had suggested to her that she think about what she wanted to do with Tara, take it slowly, consider the possibilities and consequences. He wasn’t going to give her the chance though. Not now. He was going to put his foot down, as it were. This was just not acceptable.

And then after he sufficiently pissed her off over that, they were going to have to talk about the other things Tara had told him…and wouldn’t that be fun? His intentions were noble, and his plan commendable. Spike knew he could be calm and reasonable with her—knew that Buffy was a smart girl and if he sat down and explained everything to her, she would understand.

He waited, impatiently, until Tara left, and then cornered Buffy in the bedroom.

“Did you talk to Tara?” He asked.

“Yes.”

“What did you tell her?”

“That I needed to take things slowly…think things through a bit.”

“What did she say?”

“She asked if that was your idea. She said that you…”

“What?”

“That you suggested it because you don’t trust me.”

“Do you believe that, Buffy?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“You think I don’t trust you? I trust you, Buffy. I don’t trust Tara.”

“Why wouldn’t you trust Tara?”

“Because, how many times do I have to tell you? She loves you Buffy. Not as a friend. Don’t you understand? She loves you like I love you.”

“No she doesn’t.”

“Why do you keep denying it?”

“Because it’s not true.”

“How do you know?”

“She’s my friend Spike, that’s all.”

“Then why do you want to sleep with her?”

“Because…because you know why. I’ve told you.”

“Do you have feelings for her too?”

“What? No! Of course not.”

“Then I’m asking you to drop this.”

“What?”

“This whole insane idea of a threesome. Drop it.”

“I don’t want to, Spike.”

“I’m asking you to. I don’t want you to do it.”

“You really don’t trust me.”

“It’s not a matter of trust, it’s a matter of respect.”

“Why can’t you respect my wishes?”

“You don’t even know what you want, Buffy. You have no fucking clue, and while you’re trying to figure it out, you’re going to drag the rest of us down with you.”

“I know exactly what I want.”

“Then fucking say it, already. Don’t pussy foot around. Don’t hem and haw. Tell me.”

“Tara said you would do this…”

“What? Did you just say what I think you said?”

“Yes. Tara said you would lose your temper over this.”

“I have not lost my temper.”

“You’re yelling.”

“I’m not yelling.”

“You don’t need to yell at me.”

“Buffy, don’t try to change the subject. Are you going to tell me what you really want? What you want from her, what you want from me?”

“I told you already.”

“And what if I say I’m not going to participate? Are you going to cheat on me Buffy?”

“I can’t believe you would say that to me.”

“Why not? You’re so gung-ho about this…you’re practically having an affair with her anyway.”

“God, I cannot believe how…possessive you are.”

“Is that another word you got from her? Going to go with manipulative creep too?”

“Yes, she does think you’re possessive. And controlling.”

“Why am I not surprised? And do you agree with her?”

“I’m beginning to.”

Spike closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I didn’t want to fight with you about this, Buffy. I really didn’t.”

“Then why did you start one?”

“I didn’t. I’m asking you, Buffy, please let this go.”

“What if I can’t? Am I just supposed to never talk about it again? What if I never stop thinking about?”

“Then we’ll figure something out. But not with Tara.”

“I can’t believe how much you hate her.”

“I don’t hate her.”

“But you don’t trust her.”

“No, I don’t. And I have good reason not to.”

“What?”

“Let’s just say…we had a little chat today.”

“She told me.”

“She told you?”

“She told me you tried to warn her off…making up wild accusations…”

“Buffy, who are you going to believe? I’m your husband, what do I possibly have to gain by lying to you?”

“I don’t know what to believe,” she whispered.

“I see.”

“I love you, but she’s the best friend I ever had…why would she lie to me?”

“I told you why, Buffy. I told you why several times. She wants to push me right out of your life.”

“But she’s always helped me…given me advice…”

“I’m sure her motives were purely altruistic,” he said dryly.

“I’m sure she isn’t as underhanded as you’re implying she is, Spike.”

“How do you know?”

“Maybe you just don’t like the fact that I have someone else to spend time with. Maybe you’re bitter because you’re not the only one in my Universe.”

“Have I ever given you any reason to believe that?”

“No.”

“Then why even say it?”

“Because I don’t understand any of this. I don’t understand what the problem is. I don’t understand why the two closest people in my life would fight…or why you claim you fought with her. She certainly didn’t mention a fight.”

“I don’t understand why you can’t just trust me. I can’t fight with you about this anymore Buffy. I really can’t. I think it’s clear where your loyalties lay. And it’s not with me.”

“Spike…”

He shook his head. “I really didn’t think this would turn out this way. I really didn’t think you would have any reason not to trust me…I thought this would be easier.”

“I do trust you.”

“Obviously not. Not enough. You don’t believe anything I say. Maybe you should just go be with Tara.”

“Spike, don’t say things like that…”

“Why not? Tara would never lie to you, right? And it nicely solves the cheating dilemma, doesn’t it?”

“Spike, no…”

“Go do whatever you want, Buffy. I’m not going to fight with you anymore. Fuck.”

“You know what? I’ll be back tomorrow morning. You obviously need some time to cool down. I’m not fighting with you, Spike, I’m trying to understand…”

“No, you’re not trying. Let me tell you, the worst thing you could do right now is go run off to Tara.”

“Maybe I’ll do whatever you want.”

“I already said you could, Buffy. But I’d think long and hard about what it is you want. For once, think about the consequences for your actions. Think about what’s going to happen.”

“Are you threatening me with something, Spike?”

“No.”

“We can finish this conversation tomorrow when we’re both thinking clearly. Things will only get worse if I stay…”

“Things are already worse, Buffy. You can’t even give me an inch. I asked you for one thing, and you can’t even do that. Tell me, right now, Buffy. Say it.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Spike.”

He didn’t answer her, just watched her quietly as she grabbed her purse and then stormed out of the house. He didn’t speak until after the door had slammed, rattling the windows.

“No, you won’t.”