I'm as jumpy as a virgin at a prison rodeo

[pepperlandgirl]

Today I studied a lot, and read some criticism, and marked some passages, and practiced explicating poems. I also wrote 1200 words of Angel/Wes smut, and a new scene for Querida, since we have to turn the MS into our editor tomorrow. I also watched an episode of Father Ted and cuddled with my cat for thirty minutes.

I'm so scared about tomorrow. I think, academically, this is the most stressful thing I have ever done. And as the seconds tick by, I just get wound up tighter and tighter. I'm feeling restless and frightened and like I could crawl out of my skin. secondalto posted a short Angel/Wes fic today. That made me happy. I need more Angel/Wes in my life. I wish I could just think it into existence, because I am way too ADD right now to write my own. Can I beg it into existence? Anybody?

I need to go out and buy dinner. We have no food in the house, and it'll be very bad if I don't eat tonight. I'll make myself sick.

A friend of mine sent me this prayer for the EXAM tomorrow. Yeah, it needs to be bolded, underlined, and italicized, and in caps. That's how I'm thinking about it now.

From the deep water we cry out to you, O LORD.
O sovereign Master, listen to us! Pay attention to our plea for mercy!
Let our future be like Everyman’s heaven and unlike Vindice’s hell!
Fill our hearts with the dogged confidence of Latour and the merciful optimism of the young son!
Preside over the results of this exam as the faith-worthy God of Hopkin’s and not the ironic God of Carson.
We yearn for you, O sovereign Master, LORD of loyal love,
Deliver us from all the consequences of all things: we-should-have-studied-but-didn’t.
Amen.