Mad Brilliant 51

Is on the group.


So we had the following conversations today:
"What is that awful smell?"
"I don't know."
"Could it be this pile of egg shells that's been here for a week?"
*deep sniff* "No, not this."
"Could it be the stack of trash on the stove?"
*deep sniff* "No not this. Oh shit, you know what it could be?"
We both look at the crock pot. I cooked chicken in it over a week ago.
"Oh do you think so?"
"Let me see..." Big whiff "OH HOLY FUCK!"
"That bad huh?"
"Worse."

So we decided to leave it because if we tried to clean it it would just make everything worse and I was trying to make dinner anyway. Which led to the following exchange.
"I need the thing to cook the meat balls."
"What thing? The plastic thing?"
"No...oh you mean the thing above the sink? That's too small. Where are the glass things?"
"There's one on the microwave..."
"No, the bigger one."
"Oh here it is, by the computer. It has garbage in it."
"No, no the big one. The four cup one."
"Oh...oh, hahaha, it's in here too. And from the looks of it...there used to be
meatballs in it."
Pause to consider we haven't bought the frozen meatballs in a long time--tonight was the first time since maybe August.
"Are you shitting me?"
"No."
"Well wash it out..."

Conclusion: We desperately need somebody to move in and take care of us. Not a maid or a house keeper. We need a mom. Literally. It's amazing to me that we've lasted this long. Amazing, and more than a little scary. I was watching Roseanne one night and there was the joke "We shop like our parents are gone for the weekend." And you know what? It's funny cuz it's true. Don't even get me started on the laundry...
Last June I said to Jaime "Yeah, I'll take careof the dishes." In August he went in the kitchen and said "You know, you promised me two months ago you'd take care of these."
True story.

Remember I mentioned somebody accepted a story and a poem?

Well, it's up now at Long Story Short

Dear M and
Darla

Woo!