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Every episode of American Idol ever aired.
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Bea Arthur.
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Sam Tyler (UK or US version. I'd trust either one of them).

Which brings me to my post.

Spoilers for Life on Mars (US) Series Finale )
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Hell no. I would never, ever, ever put myself in that position. I would never say a word or let on that I ever knew. Quite frankly, no matter how well you know a person, you don't know what's going on inside their marriage or inside their heart. On the other hand, I would find a way to let the cheating spouse know that somebody is on to him/her.
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God, I hope they do.
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Good question. Here in the US, I gotta say we're either buried or cremated.
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1. Road House
2. The Philadelphia Story
3. Some Like it Hot
4. A Hard Day's Night
5. Sunken Treasure (Jeff Tweedy Live)
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"Fuck me? Fuck you."
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Bret, without a doubt. Because to quote a very wise man, "Bret, you got it going on. Not in a gay way, just in 'hey mate, I wanted to say that you're looking okay, mate.'"

Seriously, he's adorable. Plus, I love his animal shirts!
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My last wishes are pretty specific. If [livejournal.com profile] slacker_97 or [livejournal.com profile] gigglestheblood fail me, I'm going to be very disappointed.

First, I want to be cremated. Then I want my ashes to be turned into diamonds.. After that, I want the diamonds set in a wedding set. Because I want [livejournal.com profile] slacker_97 to be married again. He doesn't do well on his own. He needs to be with somebody who can keep him company. Now, here's the thing, I don't want him to tell her that her wedding ring is made from his dead wife's ashes. That's just going to be a joke between him and me. Now, I do want a monument in the cemetery. A headstone would suffice, or some sort of statue. I want it to have my name and the dates, with the words I did it for the LOLZ.
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"You don't understand, Hank! When I was sad, my mom gave me cookies. When I was happy, my mom gave me cookies. All my emotions require cookies!"--William "Bill" Fontaine Delatour Dauterive
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Oh the snow is back
Cold and dreary it pains me
I hate you Jack Frost
pepperlandgirl: (Simpsons Forbidden Donut)
( Dec. 17th, 2008 08:38 am)
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I think people who are close to me will not be surprised to learn that my favorite character is C. Montgomery Burns. That's because really mean people make me laugh. So, here are a few of my favorite Burns quotes.


Just give the great unwashed a pair of oversized breasts and a happy ending, and they'll 'oink' for more every time.

Ooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans!

This house has quite a long and colorful history. It was built on an ancient Indian burial ground, and was the setting of Satanic rituals, witch-burnings, and five John Denver Christmas specials.

Mr. Burns: This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.

Mr.Burns: Quick Smithers. Bring the mind eraser device!
Smithers:You mean the revolver, sir?
Mr.Burns: Precisely.

Mr. Burns: I don't like being outdoors Smithers, for one thing, there's too many fat children.

Burns: Smithers, I've been thinking. Is it wrong to cheat to win a million-dollar bet?
Smithers: Yes, sir.
Burns: Let me rephrase that. Is it wrong if I cheat to win a million-dollar bet?
Smithers: No, sir. Who would you like killed?

Bart: So, Mr. Burns, you're saying my dad has gone insane, and thinks he's a god, and broken off all contact with the outside world?
Smithers: I told you Simpson was a poor choice, sir.
Mr. Burns: You know, Smithers, "I told you so" has a brother. His name is, "Shut the hell up"!

Mr Burns: Let's see, social security number ... naught, naught, naught ... naught, naught ... naught, naught, naught, two. Damn Roosevelt. Cause of parents' death ... got in my way.

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Angel and The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. Yeah, I have the DVDs, but nothing will ever fill the void in my heart.
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I would be treated at General Hospital because of Dr. Hottie and his younger brother, Dr. Pretty (Patrick Drake and Matthew Hunter). They're both pretty good doctors, so I probably wouldn't die. Unless it's sweeps month and the mob blows up the hospital or something.
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The biggest problem? There's too much porn to distract me from my job of writing porn. It's maddening!
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Abortions for some, miniature American flags for the others!!!
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My favorite episode has to be Jose Chung's From Outer Space. It's just a perfect hour of television. I love showing it to my students because there's so much to talk about. In explores the relationship between language and reality, between perceptions and truth, and the subjectivity of our existence. Everything from Detective Manners' ("We found your bleeping dead alien") to the Men in Black ("He didn't say it was Alex Trebek") to the ultimate response to all questions ("how the hell should I know?"). Of course, the kid who thought Mulder and Scully had to be Men in Black because Scully's hair was "too red" and Mulder was blank and emotionless, except when he screamed like a girl, is classic.

I've never experienced paranormal activity--for good reason. There's no such thing. I've never even experienced anything that couldn't be simply and logically explained away. The sad thing is, I would love to experience paranormal activity. I think that's one thing that a lot of skeptics would agree on. I feel like there's a myth that skeptics are unbelievers because they're willingly blind, or they don't want the world to be full of impossibilities. I would be thrilled to death for proof of any paranormal activity. Unfortunately, nobody can provide even an inch of evidence.

Anyway, there's no reason to be sad that there's no such thing as the paranormal. The world is pretty cool without it. I mean, there are scientists who are, at this very moment, beginning the final preparations to recreate the first billionth of a second after the Big Bang. That trumps a ghost or a psychic any day of the week, as far as I'm concerned.
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